My college career has just about come to an end. I turned in my final projects and papers today. As long as my professors pass me, I will be a college graduate. That is, if they pass me! I am hoping they will, but I know it won't be with flying colors. It is funny how when everything should be easier and freeing...it is harder and is one of the worst feelings on the planet. I really feel like I screwed up on these last couple projects. I did them at the last minute and didn't really put my heart into them..even though I had the ideas, I didn't back them up with any hard proof. A big "no-no" in the marketing industry. This should be my glory moment..instead, I feel like shit. Not to mention the gigantic fight I had as I was leaving Denver. Great way to leave a lasting impression, eh?
I am incredibly unhappy at this moment. However, when I get back to Amarillo and things are the way they should be, I will feel better. I don't like being out of control. It's a phobia and is scary as hell. I suppose that's why I'm not the best roommate. I feel that everything has its place, and that place is where I put it and if you move it, I will kill you! In Amarillo, although it is not the most desirable city on earth, I have my own apartment. No one gets to move my shit around and not tell me...because no one else is there! Of course, that also makes me sad. I do like my "alone time" but I miss human interaction every no and again. I suppose that's why it is good that I am in a tumbling class once a week. So far, that has satisfied my need to interactions outside the office. I am hopeful I can make some friends from the tumbling class. I also plan to get a second job after while. Perhaps, mid-March or so. I'd like to enjoy the post-grad phase of no homework a little bit before I pile on a super busy schedule.
My step-dad ordered me a new t.v. last week. I had previously donated mine to the, "the cousins are always at grandma's house and don't have a working t.v." cause last summer. haha. So, I am being rewarded for my selflessness with a new t.v. this summer! Karma is fantastic. =)
I am still searching for what I am truly passionate about. I'm considering getting a Master's in Organizational Leadership with a focus on Training and Development. However, I'm not sure if I want to stay in the training field forever. But, my mom did make a good point that the skills aquired could be transferred to the non-profit setting and working with youth. Because, essentially, I would be training youth in some fashion - even if I was just a camp counselor, the psychology is all the same.
But, in the end..I'm still searching. I haven't found my true passion yet and this makes me wonder if I am still searching in other faucets of my life. Hmmm...
Peace, Love, and Patience...
Kristin
